Conversations
by setr
Summary: A collection of conversations. Will have random characters and they might be used in more than one pairing. I do not own One Piece or any of the characters.
1. Changing the Subject

_So here it is a new collection of drabbles. They will all be conversations only with no other action to it so this is very iffy. I tend to suck at dialogue so this might not last long._

pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T

**Changing the Subject**

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I'm on watch tonight."

"Hence the call."

"What are you up to?"

"Paperwork."

"Sounds fun, almost makes me want to join the marines."

"haha very funny."

"I thought so."

"Have you replaced your katana yet? I still can't believe you let it get destroyed this is why these blades shouldn't be allowed in the hands of pirates."

"Yeah. You'll never guess what I got."

"No please don't tell me you got another Meitou."

"Shuusui"

"No way!"

"Got it from Samurai Ryuma"

"The legendary samurai from Wano Country who defeated a dragon?"

"Yeah"

"But he's dead. He lived centuries ago."

"I know. It's a long story and you probably wouldn't believe half of it."

"Sure I would."

"Fine he was a zombie. Gecko Moria stole the shadow of Brooke, a living skeleton who is the newest member of our crew, and put it in Ryuma's body and he was resurrected.

"..."

"I haven't even told you about Luffy's zombie."

"You're kidding right"

"Why would I make it up?"

"I don't know to impress me."

"Fine would you rather I say I found it lying on the ground and picked it up?"

"Now that's ridiculous why would there be a Meitou just lying around?"

"..."

"I mean people don't just leave their swords randomly lying on the ground."

"..."

"You didn't find it lying on the ground."

"Nope."

"You were just messing with me."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"It's fun and you didn't believe the first story."

"So it _was_ just a story. You made it up."

"If that's what you want to believe."

"So it is true then?"

"I think Robin's got a thing for me."

"What?"

"Robin. I think she likes me."

"Miss All-Sunday? She better not."

"Don't call her that. That's not who she is anymore and what's it matter if she does."

"Fine go have sex with her. I won't keep you."

"I'm not going to have sex with her."

"..."

"She might like me but I don't like her."

"..."

"She's my nakama nothing more."

"..."

"I should not have even mentioned it. Are you still there even?"

"..."

"Tash? Come on, I'm sorry for mentioning it."

"Why did you mention it?"

"To change the subject."

"So that's what you chose?"

"Err... yeah."

"Why didn't you just tell me some crazy antics of your idiotic captain? Or bitch about the cook like normal?"

"I don't know I didn't think you'd be jealous."

"Jealous? I am not jealous."

"So the crazy over reactions are not jealousy then."

"I did not over react."

"So the stupid ero-cook tried kicking me through the wall today for dripping sweat in his precious kitchen."

"You're not getting off that easily."

"It's not my fault that I get so sweaty working out. I would have put a shirt back on but it was already off and I needed some water before going to shower."

"..."

"The shower felt good though. Water running down over my sore muscles, pounding into my back."

"Not fair."

"What?"

"I can practically hear you smirking."

"I can practically hear you panting."

"Not true."

"Sure."

"Next time we meet I am so rescuing those Meitou from you."

"Maybe I'll just have to kidnap you."

"Kidnapping a Marine is not exactly the brightest idea."

"Would it raise my bounty?"

"It would get you caught."

"Not going to happen."

"One day..."

"One day I won't have to kidnap you."

"Maybe. Look I need to go now Smoker wants to see m in his office."

"Alright stay safe."

"You too. Bye."

"Bye"


	2. Late Night Troublemakers

pairings: ZoTash and Smoker/Ace  
rating: T

**Late Night Troublemakers**

"Hey Tash."

"Ahh! Jesus Ace, don't sneak up like that and stop laughing."

"Sorry couldn't resist."

"Why aren't you with Smoker-taisa?"

"He said to bother you so he could finish up some reports."

"And you listened?"

"I thought you might like to know where I've been just now."

"Not likely."

"Not even if it was on my brother's ship."

"You were? I mean, I still don't care."

"He's not easily startled like you."

"Your brother?"

"No. Your lover."

"My what?"

"Lover."

"I don't have a l-lover. Especially from that crew."

"So it wouldn't bother you to hear then that he is an incredible kisser, he was all hot and sweaty from his training but it was one hell of a kiss."

"Lies!"

"Calm down Tash and put that katana away someone could get hurt."

"That's the point."

"You sure are gullible you know. Relax; I didn't touch your precious swordsman."

"Oh. He's not mine."

"Of course not. So why do you have matching Baby Den Den Mushis?"

"I'm sure Smoker-taisa is done those reports now. You should go check."

"Smooth sergeant. Well I might as well, pass on my greetings to them."

"To who?"

"The Strawhats?"

"What?"

"When you call him once I've left."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"haha enjoy your conversation."

...

"Hello?"

"Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah but its fine I'm on watch anyways."

"You sleep on watch? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"

"No."

"Oh."

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Err... did Ace drop by the other day?"

"Nah haven't seen him in awhile."

"Oh."

"Did he say he had?"

"Maybe."

"Don't listen to him. You know I wouldn't touch him."

"I know."

"Why don't you get some sleep."

"I can talk its fine."

"You sound exhausted Tash."

"I am pretty tired."

"I'll talk to you later okay."

"Okay."

"Night."

"Good night."


	3. Call backs

_pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T_

**Call backs**

"Sergeant Tashigi."

"Is there someone else there?"

"Yes sir"

"So if I just kept talking you'd hang up?"

"Yes sir"

"Call me back?"

"Will do. Goodbye"

"Bye"

...

"Tashigi?"

"Does anyone else know about this den den?"

"Um no."

"Then who else would it be?"

"Nobody"

"Exactly."

"Ok."

"So what's up?"

"Nothing just felt like talking to you."

"Did you miss me?"

"What? No I'm just bored that's all."

"You missed me."

"The stupid love-cook was being an ass today."

"You missed me a lot."

"What's new with you?"

"My boyfriend misses me."

"B-boyfriend?"

"I meant you Roronoa."

"Oh yeah. I knew that and I don't I was just bored."

"Sure you were."

"..."

"We got a bunch of new guys transferred to our division this week. Lots of young boys eager to please."

"Is that so."

"They are a lot fitter than the last bunch but then after what happened to them it's no surprise. Smoker would have destroyed them."

"Are they under you?"

"Not all of them. There is this one guy though."

"What's so special about him?"

"He specifically requested to be under me. He's an aspiring swordsman, worships the ground I walk on."

"Oh yeah. If I were to meet him I'd show him what a real swordsman is capable of."

"I don't know this guy shows promise. He has some real... skills."

"I ought to let Kitetsu loose on him."

"I wouldn't let you and you know it."

"You're choosing him over me?"

"You're such a woman Roronoa."

"..."

"Don't pout."

"I wasn't pouting."

"If you say so. Look I have to go the new guy wants to spar."

"Fine."

"Are you on watch tonight?"

"Yeah."

"I'll call you back later."

"Ok. Imissyoubye."

"What?"

"..."

"Zoro?"

"--"


	4. Truth or Dare

_Hopefully the different characters are obvious and it isn't too confusing. I tried to make each character evident in the lines..._

pairing: ZoLu  
rating: T

**Truth or Dare**

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Because I said to and you owe me enough beli that going against my wishes wouldn't be smart."

"Mellorine! Nami-swan is so pretty when she is commanding."

"Nami you're not playing it right though. It's supposed to have a Dare option."

"Be quiet Luffy I decided it was safer not to and Usopp this time the truth."

"I was telling the truth."

"Usopp!"

"Fine. No I've never faced a giant."

"Whaaat!? But Usopp what about the time you took down a whole island of them?"

"He was lying Luffy now come on its Usopp's turn to ask."

"See Zoro I told you you'd like it. It's fun."

"I just want to get this over with."

"Hmm I'll ask Nami."

"Go ahead."

"What's the most you've done..."

"Finish that sentence and I'll make minced meat out of you. It is inappropriate to ask a lady such questions."

"What's the most you've charged for interest."

"Three hundred percent."

"Devil woman."

"What's that Zoro? Did you want me to raise yours?"

"Is that your question Nami? That's pretty boring you guys don't play well."

"No that wasn't my question baka. My question will be for Zoro though."

"Nami you look kinda scary."

"Nami-swan is gorgeous when she is plotting!"

"Shut it ero-cook."

"Make me marimo"

"You think I won't dart-brow?"

"Shut up!"

"Hai Nami-swan!"

"Zoro my question is have you ever kissed anyone?"

"That's ridiculous this brute probably doesn't even know what a kiss is."

"Relatives don't count either."

"Yes."

"Ooh who?"

"You only get one question woman. It is my turn now."

"Fine."

"Love cook last time we made port did you visit the brothel instead of researching grocery prices like you told Nami."

"You bastard!"

"Well did you?"

"What's a brothel?"

"I-I. I hate you."

"Err ask Zoro not me."

"Answer the question Sanji-kun."

"What's a brothel Zoro?"

"I am very sorry my tangerine butterfly. My heart still belongs fully to you but yes."

"Zoro where did Sanji go? Was it a restaurant? Why didn't you take me Sanji?"

"It's not a restaurant Luffy. I'll tell you later okay."

"Okay."

"You're going to be sorry you asked that marimo."

"Ooh I'm really scared now."

"Who have you kissed?"

"Yay Sanji-kun."

"Guys I want a turn. Ask me instead."

"I don't have to answer that."

"If you want to see another beli for the rest of your life you will."

"_Death Star_"

"You guys are no fun."

"Luffy."

"Answer the question marimo."

"I told you already you had to give an answer."

"I did."

"Guys I want to play too."

"Quiet Luffy. Wait a minute... Luffy."

"What?"

"No that was his answer"

"Nami-swan is so beautiful when she is being... wait what? Luffy was his answer?"

"Is it my turn yet?"

"You kissed Luffy!? "

"You perverted child molester."

"You do not get to call me a pervert ero-cook."

"This game sucks. Can we go sleep some more Zoro?"

"..."

"..."

"..."


	5. Observations

_pairing: ZoRo  
rating: T_

**Observations**

"Stop staring."

"You're awake?"

"I've been awake for the last 20 minutes."

"Oh."

"And you've been staring at me for at least 15 of them."

"Why didn't you say something then?"

"Why were you staring?"

"I was researching."

"Researching?"

"Yes."

"You're one crazy woman."

"I have to be to be a part of this crew."

"That's true. You are though."

"What? Crazy?"

"A part of this crew."

"I know."

"You're our nakama and just as important as any member of the crew."

"..."

"Not to me though. To me you're much more important."

"That's because I give you sex. If any of the others gave you sex they'd be more important."

"I would not have sex with anyone else on this ship."

"Not even Nami?"

"I don't even want to think about how much she'd charge for that."

"But if it weren't for the money?"

"Why? You want a threesome or something?"

"That could be fun but I was thinking more with cook-san."

"The perverted ero-cook? I think not."

"What you'd prefer Luffy or Usopp?"

"You really are crazy you know."

"So I guess a threesome is out of the question then."

"Not unless Ace visits."

"Fire Fist Ace?"

"Yeah. I guess you never ran into him at Alabasta. He's Luffy's brother."

"What a unique family."

"That's for sure. Hey wait what did you mean researching earlier?"

"I was researching, learning about you."

"By staring at me?"

"Not staring. Observing. Noticing things."

"What did you learn?"

"You are much more relaxed when you sleep. The need to be the best fades away and there is a peacefulness that isn't normally there. It's the only time I've seen you look so at ease without your katana drawn."

"You can tell all that from staring at me."

"I'd be able to tell more if you had actually been asleep."

"You are a remarkable woman."

"mmm... you're not so bad yourself."

"Only not so bad? I'll show you good I am."


	6. Future

_I know the whole pirate queen concept has been done a lot but I oh well here is my version._

pairing: LuNa  
rating: T

**Future**

"Nami? What are you doing up still?"

"Oh hey Luffy. Thinking. I couldn't sleep so I came up for some fresh air."

"Oh" "Whatcha thinking about?"

"Just stuff. Nothing important."

"Can I sit with you?"

"Sure."

--

"Luffy have you always wanted to be a pirate?"

"Pretty much as far as I can remember."

"And same with finding One Piece and being the Pirate King?"

"Well Shanks wouldn't let me joining his crew so I decided to be better than him and that pretty much meant the top."

"I guess that makes sense. If you're going to go for it go all the way."

"Yosh!"

"Have you ever thought about what you would do after finding One Piece?"

"Not really. I guess I would go on more adventures since they're a lot of fun."

"Do you think we'll all stay together after? I mean once everyone accomplishes their dreams."

"I don't know. I guess people might go their separate ways but I hope we can all still go on adventures together. I don't want to lose you guys."

"You won't lose us Luffy. We'll always be nakama even if we aren't all on one ship still."

"But it won't be the same."

"Well maybe we'll stay together, we still have a ways to go anyhow."

"You're right. There is one thing I'll have to do once I become Pirate King."

"What's that? "

"Well as a King I'll need to find a Queen to share all my treasure with."

"That is a good point... did you have anybody in mind."

"Maybe."

"Well what would she be like?"

"She's have to be smart and able to take care of herself even though I wouldn't mind fighting for her. She'd also have to be able to help me on my adventures so I don't get lost and I guess she should like treasure since we'll have lots of it and she'll know how to handle it. She should also be very pretty and not too innocent after all we are pirates."

"..."

"And most importantly it is the person I love and would always risk my life for without a moment's hesitation. I will always fight for her happiness and safety since she is more important than One Piece."

"Well however she might be she'll be one lucky girl."

"Goodnight Nami. I hope you have sweet dreams."

"Night Luffy." "I certainly will now."


	7. Red Hair

_pairing: BenxShanks_  
_rating: T_

**Red Hair**

"Ben! My fabulous first mate!"

"You're drunk captain."

"No I'm just having a good time. Kanpai!"

"Your face is almost as red as your hair."

"I'm the infamous Red-Haired Shanks, that's why my hair is red."

"I was talking about your face baka. I know your hair's red."

"Kanpai!"

"Maybe you should ease back on the cheers, half the crew is already passed out."

"That's the point my fabulous first mate."

"You want them all to pass out?"

"Wanna know a secret Ben? You'll like it."

"Why not?"

"My hair's not red."

"What are you talking about Shanks?"

"It's not red."

"I can see it clear as day and that is certainly red. Maybe I should cut you off."

"Hell no and I'm not crazy. Well I am but I'm being serious."

"So you're saying that _this_ isn't red?"

"Of course this is red baka, I think _you're_ drunk."

"Okay explain captain."

"I've been dying my hair since I was ten."

"What!?"

"I dyed it for fun at first but then people started calling me Red-Haired Shanks and well now I pretty much have no choice but to continue dying it."

"You're serious?"

"Yosh!"

"You sure are one strange man."

"That's why you love me."

"Love you? What!?"

"..."

"Shanks?"

"Zzzzzz"

"Baka... can't say he's wrong though."


	8. Bounties

pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T

**Bounties**

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think it was important."

"It's not important to you?"

"Me personally? No. Me as a marine, maybe."

"You could have at least mentioned it."

"I didn't think it was important to you. I never thought you cared about things like that."

"I don't."

"Then why is this a big deal?"

"Because you knew but didn't tell me. You should have said something in case I cared."

"But I knew you wouldn't."

"Luffy does."

"So? What's that got to do with me?"

"He's my captain."

"And my boss likes his brother but he doesn't care if Smoker gets a raise."

"That makes no sense."

"Yes, it does."

"Maybe in some warped girl logic way."

"Why am I still having this conversation?"

"Because I am awesome."

"..."

"Fine, we'll change the subject. How's your leg?"

"Almost fully healed. The doctor said there might be a scar though."

"Does it hurt still?"

"It is a little sore after training but that's it."

"That's good. I still can't believe one person can be that clumsy."

"It's not like I try."

"I know. Do you remember that time we happened to be docked in the same town and you broke the water barrels before coming to meet me?"

"Don't remind me. I had to buy a new outfit plus Smoker wasn't exactly thrilled especially since I concussed one of the officers."

"The officer was concussed? You never told me that part."

"Well it's not really something to brag about."

"He must have been pretty weak then."

"Not everyone can be as strong as you."

"Good point."

"Someone's at the door. I got to go."

"Alright. Night."

"Congratulations on the higher bounty. Good night."


	9. Needs & Emotions

_pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T_

**Needs & Emotions**

"Hello?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"Er... who is this?"

"A friend of Mr Swordsman's. I'm assuming you are calling for him?"

"No. I mean yes, why do you have his den den?"

"I was in his room and I heard it ring."

"His room? Why are you in his room?"

"Just making sure all of his needs are taken care of."

"His n-needs. Zoro can take care of his needs just fine. It would probably be best if you removed yourself from his room."

"Best for who? Certainly not for Mr Swordsman, he needs me."

"He doesn't."

"..."

"He doesn't!"

"How would you know what he needs Miss Marine? You're not even here."

"How do you know I'm a marine?"

"I recognized your voice, but that's not important. I see you haven't answered that question."

"I know Zoro. I know him better than you will ever know him. I don't need to be there to know what's in his heart."

"You love him."

"Yes. I mean, what do you want from him?"

"Relax Miss Marine, I only want friendship. Here he's waking up. I'll leave you alone."

"What?"

"..."

"..."

"Hello? Tash?"

"Zoro what was that woman doing in your bed?"

"What woman?"

"The one I was just talking to."

"Oh Robin, she was changing my dressings since Chopper is busy with Nami."

"You're hurt?"

"Not really, it's just a minor cut."

"How many stitches?"

"14"

"Zoro!"

"I'm fine."

"And that woman was changing the dressings, nothing else?"

"Yeah. What else would she be doing?"

"Nothing."

"You weren't jealous were you?"

"Of course not. Why would I be jealous of a woman who has to spend every day on a ship with you."

"Wow that almost sounded wistful."

"It did not."

"It's okay that you're jealous, no one could blame you."

"You are so infuriating."

"It's part of my charm. Snorts aren't very lady-like you know."

"..."

"Tash? You there?"

"..."

/\

"Hello?"

"Get better. Good night."

"Night Tash."


	10. I love you

_This Tashigi revenge convo didn't quite turn out like I had expected. I like it though and I hope you do too._

_pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T_

**I love you**

"I shouldn't even be answering this."

"Hello to you too."

"Yeah, yeah. Hello."

"So why shouldn't you be answering this? Too busy?"

"No I have plenty of free time you just don't deserve to be getting it."

"How's that?"

"You're a jerk."

"I've always been a jerk. What makes it different now?"

"There's a limit to how much I can take Zoro. There's a limit to how much I should take."

"What are you saying Tash?"

"I don't know."

"Look I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?"

"There is nothing you can do. I can't change who you are just because I want to."

"You want me to change?"

"No, not really. You know I love you right?"

"Tash this is sounding dangerously like you ending things."

"..."

"Are you ending things?"

"..."

"Tash?"

"Would it make a difference? We never see each other. All we have is these conversations in which most of them you are a jerk and do you even care?"

"Of course I care and it does make a difference."

"Does it really?"

"Tashigi listen to me. We might not get to see each other and trust me when I say that I hate that. I would love to simply hold you in my arms but since I can't have that I need these conversations. I'm sorry if I'm a jerk but you know I don't mean it. Please don't take these conversations away from me."

"Are they really that important to you?"

"They get me through each day babe."

"They mean a lot to me too it's just that some days I'm not so sure about your commitment to us. You're on a ship with two gorgeous woman and even when you make port there's got to be hundreds of woman who would die for a chance to show you a good time..."

"Tash, I am committed to you completely. Besides you know Nami has Luffy and surprisingly enough Robin seems to actually have fallen in love with someone who is not me, shocking I know."

"Zoro."

"What I'm saying is you don't have to worry about me. The only woman I am interested in is you. Now me, I have reason to worry. You are an incredible, talented and gorgeous woman in a field that is heavily dominated by men. You are on a ship that is full of men who would have to be stupid or blind to not notice how amazing you are."

"..."

"I know you wish I could say those words to you but I can't. It doesn't mean that I don't though. You are in my heart Tash. You are my reason to continue getting up each day, to train and get stronger."

"I thought defeating Mihawk was that reason."

"Defeating Mihawk would mean nothing if I didn't have you to share it with. You understand more than anybody, even Luffy the importance of it."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Convince me that all my fears and worries are ridiculous and trick me into falling in love with you all over again."

"Because I am awesome. But seriously, it is no trick Tash, I mean everything I say."

"I love you Zoro."

"I know."

You know? Who the hell responds to 'I love you' with I know. What the hell is wrong with you baka?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I can't deal with this right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Tash?"

"Later Zoro."

/\\\\

"Zoro what part of later don't you understand?"

"It is later."

"Five minutes doesn't really count as later baka."

"Tash?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"..."

"Tash?"

"I know Zoro. I'll call you later okay?"

"Bye Tash."

"Goodbye Zoro."


	11. Injured

_pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T_

**Injured**

"Hello?"

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Zoro?"

"Yes. Where were you?"

"What's the big deal, I'm not always around when you call just like you're not always there when I call."

"You're always there Monday nights and usually you call me after dinner. Today you didn't."

"Have you been calling me constantly since then?"

"No! Where were you anyways?"

"I was in the infirmary."

"I knew it. Are you okay? It's not bad is it?"

"You knew it? And who says I'm hurt, I could have just been visiting one of the men from my division."

"Tash just tell me if you're okay."

"You have no reason to believe I'm not."

"I had a feeling earlier that something was wrong, so I do. Plus there's the tripping over non-existent things which leads to numerous falls thing and the losing your glasses and becoming completely blind thing and the..."

"Alright, alright you're right."

"Exactly. Now what happened?"

"I fell off the ship when I was climbing off and I hit my arm funny."

"It's broken isn't it?"

"Just a little."

"How can it be a little broken Tash? It's either broken or not."

"Well how can fourteen stitches be a small, inconsequential cut?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It's a bit sore and the meds they gave me are making me tired but I'm alright."

"You should get some rest, I'll let you go."

"Can't you just talk to me instead?"

"You really should sleep..."

"I'll lie down."

"Fine."

"Tell me about your day."

"Nothing too special happened. The cook cooked, Robin read, Nami drew some maps, Franky fixed the docking system, Brooke, Chopper, Usopp and Luffy played some games which only resulted in all of them going overboard once which is an improvement from yesterday. Nami wasn't too happy that both Chopper and Brooke tried saving Luffy. Brooke needed to drink a whole litre of milk after that encounter."

"mmm and you..."

"I slept and trained. I think I am finally starting to control this new blade some. It really is quite the beauty. The power it has is amazing, much heavier than anything I've had before."

"..."

"Tash?"

"..."

"Night love, sleep well."


	12. Paperwork

_pairing: SmoAce  
rating: T_

**Paperwork**

"I'm bored."

"Then leave."

"You know you don't want me to do that."

"Shut it kid. I need to get some of this paperwork done."

"If it accidentally burnt up you wouldn't have to do it."

"You touch them Portgas and I'll put jitte through you."

"Touchy, touchy taisa."

"Can't you just lie there quietly for an hour."

"But that's boring."

"What, do you want a colouring book or something brat?"

"Nah, watching you turn different colours is fun enough."

"Portgas..."

"Mmm, I love it when you growl my name like that."

"Fuck! Goddamn it Ace, keep those flames under control when you're touching me."

"I thought you liked it when I let loose."

"Not with the freaking fire."

"Mmm, you sure 'bout that?"

"G-get off my lap."

"Why?"

"I have w-work t-to do."

"No, you have me to do."

"Insolent brat."

"Grumpy old man."

"I really do need to do that work."

"Then take your hands off me and sign your papers taisa."

"You want me to sign all these papers while you..."

"..."

"Fuck Ace!"

"Mmm..."

"Oh fuck..."

"Now taisa how are you going to sign those papers with your hands in my hair?"

"Get back. Don't you dare stop now."

"Mmm again with the growling."

"You're such a fucking whore Portgas."

"..."

"Oh god... fuck... fuck Ace...fuck, fuck, fuck"

"Sorry taisa I should probably let you work now, I'll go bother Tashigi..."

"Stuff it Portgas and get up here. Work can wait."

"That's what I thought."


	13. Morning After

_pairing: Zoro/Robin with Ace  
rating: T I guess_

**Morning After**

"Well that was fun."

"Mmm"

"I'll definitely have to look you guys up more often."

"Don't think you can have sex with her, us, every time you drop by."

"Aww, now that's not fair."

"I guess we know where Captain-san learned to pout."

"Captain-san? How cute, what's your name for me?"

"How 'bout Narcoleptic-san?"

"That would be cute."

"Hey! I was thinking more along the lines of Sex God or Sexy-san..."

"Narcoleptic-san suits you better... oi!"

"Zzzzz..."

"You're right, Narcoleptic-san it is."

"Should we leave him?"

"How long is he normally out for?"

"Not sure, sometimes not long, other times he manages to sleep for hours."

"How about we go get some coffee then."

"Coffee? I'll have sake."

"It's 6:30 in the morning, you haven't even had breakfast yet."

"Jeez woman, fine I'll have some of your damn coffee."

"I'll go get it, you can stay here with Narcoleptic-san."

"Thanks."

/\\

"Huh? What's going on?"

"You were proving how Narcoleptic-san suits you."

"No it doesn't..."

"..."

"Okay maybe it does but so does Sexy-san."

"Whatever you say Narcoleptic-san."

"Where's Robin, Absolutely-No-Sense-of-Direction-san?"

"Funny guy. She's getting coffee."

"She brings you coffee?"

"I guess."

"Man, I need to get Smoker to do that, all he gets me is off."

"Classy, Narcoleptic-san."

"Why thank you, Robin-chan."

"Have some coffee."

"Oi does this coffee have..."

"Liquor in it? Yes."

"Thanks."

"Aww aren't you two just the cutest."

"I'm sure you and Smoker are equally gag-worthy."

"Or indecent exposure worthy, right Narcoleptic-san?"

"He might not be so welcoming next time I see him..."

"Because of this?"

"Because of sticky notes."

"Sticky notes?"

"Bright pink, heart shaped sticky notes on official marine documents."

"He's going to kill you one of these days, Ace."

"Probably..."

"FOOOOOOODDDDDD!!"

"Looks like Luffy's up."

"Or sleep-talking again."

"I should go say hi, you two can go on being all coupley."

"Har, har."

"We'll see you later Narcoleptic-san."

"Oh, you will."


	14. Nami's Game

_Para ti, mi amiga. Espero que te quieres._

_rating: T_

**Nami's Game**

"Why are we doing this?"

"Because Nami-swan said to."

"You'd do anything she said, wouldn't you love cook?"

"Show some respect muscle head."

"Would you jump off a bridge if the witch said to?"

"Apologize to Nami-swan before I wipe the floor with you!"

"I'd cut you to ribbons before you'd lay a foot on me."

"I'll make minced meat of you!"

"Meat!? I want some meat!"

"I don't think there's any actual meat Captain-san."

"Aww. Sanji make me meat!"

"There is no meat Luffy, you ate it all."

"What!?"

"We're out of meat unless you catch some."

"M-meat! No meat? M-meat... meat..."

"Good job dart-brow, you broke him."

"Ahh! Luffy's broken! We need a doctor!"

"You are a doctor."

"Oh right."

"Will you guys shut up!"

Hai Nami-swan! I'll gladly shut up for my precious Nami-swan."

"Then why are you still talking ero-cook?"

"Marimo!"

"Enough! Put your katana away Zoro... Zoro!"

"Fine, fine. Stop your yelling woman."

"Hey, Nami actually stopped yelling."

"Love does strange things Long Nose-kun."

"Nami-swan's in love with me!"

"No she's not blondie."

"Who else would she be in love with then, baka?"

"Well for starters..."

"Nami your face is red, are you ok?"

"Aaahhh! Nami's got a fever! We need a doctor!"

"A fever? She can't get sick, don't let her die Chopper!"

"I'm fine. Can we please do this now."

"That sounds like a good idea Navigator-san."

"Oi! Usopp! You can come out of hiding now."

"I-I wasn't hiding. I was fighting off a large colony of giant rats."

"Wow! Really!?"

"Stop lying and get over here."

"What are we doing?"

"I've already told you a thousand times Luffy."

"Perhaps once more will be helpful Navigator-san."

"Fine, but this is the last time. If I need to explain it again it's going to cost you."

"Naaaamiiii!"

"Nami-swan is so cute when she's scheming."

"Jeez woman, you never stop, do you?"

"Usopp, Nami looks kind of scary."

"Don't worry I, the great Captain Usopp will protect – s-scary..."

"Alright, I'm going to give you all some paper and I want you to write one thing you like or admire about everyone else and then put it into the box for that person."

"This is the stupidest _game_ you've made us do yet."

"I don't care. Do it anyways."

"And if I don't?"

"Do you even need to ask? Anyone who doesn't participate gets a fine."

"Sea witch."

"What was that Zoro-kun?"

"Err pass the paper..."

"That's what I thought."

/\

"Okay is everyone done?"

"It would appear that way Navigator-san."

"Can we have meat now?"

"No. Now I read them out loud."

"What... you never said that?"

"That was the whole point Usopp. What's the matter, write something you don't want others to know?"

"N-no."

"Nami-swan is so beautiful!"

"Let's get started shall we. We'll go in backwards order of who joined the crew. So I'll read Robin's first."

"Robin didn't join first!"

"I said backwards order Luffy."

"Owww..."

"Robin-chan is a mysteriously beautiful, amazing and independent woman."

"Gee I wonder who wrote that."

"Shut it marimo!"

"Sanji-kun, please be quiet."

"Hai Nami-swan!"

"She knows a lot of interesting things." "Robin has a fierce determination despite a troubled soul."

/\

"Okay time for Sanji."

"This should be interesting."

"Why's that Robin."

"No reason, Doctor-san..."

"Sanji makes lots of good meat."

"Meat!?"

"No Luffy!"

"Sanji sticks to his convictions even when they're ridiculously stupid."

"My convictions aren't stupid muscle brain."

"Who said that was mine, curly?"

"Shut Up!"

"Oww... Nami-swan is magnificent when abusing others."

"Witch..."

/\

"My turn. Let's see here..." "Nami can get us safely through all the crazy weather on the Grand Line." "The way she calls my name when she..."

"What's the problem Navigator-san?"

"Oh no her fever is back. Fix her Chopper!"

"Shall we move on to the next?"

"But you didn't finish reading that one... eek! Never mind."

"I don't know, you read all the others you shouldn't skip this one."

"Shut up Zoro."

"You even read Usopp's embarrassing comment about Robin's 'exotic and alluring smell'."

"I thought we agreed to never mention that..."

"Don't be embarrassed Long Nose-kun I thought it was sweet."

"I'm not Usopp, I am Sogeking from the land of snipers..."

"Sogeking!"

"Sogeking!"

"How do they not realize it is just Usopp with a mask?"

_CRASH!_

"Marines!"

"Aaaahhhh!"

"_Gomu gomu no_..."

"Saved by the enemy this time Navigator-san."

"Lucky for him."

"That was quite bold of Swordsman-san."

"Robin! Not so loud."

"Sorry. Shall we lend a hand?"

"Might as well... _Thunder Tempo!_"


	15. Kidnapping

_So.... i think this conversation is on crack... oops. I may have slightly under the influence when writing this/right now. And it might have kinda gotten carried away from me but what can I say maybe Zoro is intoxicated and horny too..._

pairing: ZoTash  
rating: M... yeah most definitely...

**Kidnapping**

"It was nice but you know you just can't go around doing that."

"If it was nice than what's the rest matter?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I mean you said it yourself it was nice."

"It was nice because of the cottage and the fire."

"So?"

"Not the being kidnapped in the street amidst a thick fog!"

"So if I did it on a clear day it would be ok?"

"NO!"

"So.... it was nice but I can't do it?"

"Yes."

"That makes no sense Tash."

"Kidnapping someone as a romantic gesture makes no sense."

"You liked it."

"Not the kidnapping!"

"I had told you I would kidnap you."

"Yeah it came up in a random conversation as a passing comment not as a reality."

"Well if I said I'm kidnapping you tomorrow night it would ruin it."

"The kidnapping is the issue Zoro."

"So I shouldn't kidnap you?"

"Exactly."

"So if I were to approach you on your ship and say let's spend the night and next day escaping reality in a cottage on the edge of the forest you would have said ok and we would have walked off hand in hand?"

"..."

"Exactly."

"What?"

"The kidnapping pretence was essential to the illusion of momentary escape from reality."

"Did you just say pretence and illusion? Have you been reading Robin's books?"

"Shut up."

"Seriously next thing I know you'll be all high education on me."

"Har har so funny."

"It will be all 'Tashigi darling you should explore the archaeological works of Mr Fancy-Pants-Have-A-Pointless-Doctorate-in-Something-Archaic. It is quite enlightening.'"

"Wow.... real mature babe."

"Anyways if you're more educated maybe you'll realize you can't just go around _kidnapping_ people."

"Ugh are we still on this? Look I'm sorry I scared you in the fog and kidnapped you. I thought you might find it fun and adventurous."

"You did NOT scare me."

"Oh you were scared."

"You wish! You startled me that's all. I had it under control."

"Sure..."

"Don't try me Roronoa."

"Or what? You won't sleep with me for a month? Big deal I probably won't see you that soon anyways."

"..."

"..."

"oh"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No it's ok. We hardly see each other it's to be expected."

"Wait, what's to be expected?"

"I mean you have needs that have to... should be met and I'm not there so it's only natural that you'd seek it ..."

"What!?"

"I mean I can understand that you need to do these things. As long as it's just about needs..."

"What are you talking about Tashigi? You're out of your mind."

"I'm out of my mind? I'm trying to be open and supportive and you turn on me?"

"Turn on you?" What are you on about woman? I'm just trying to say that you're stupid..."

"So I'm stupid now? I can see I was to ever get mixed up with the likes of you."

"No I don't mean _you're_ stupid. Well you are.."

"Roronoa Zoro!"

"Wait let me finish."

"You have 30 seconds to convince me not to hang up on you and throw this den den into the ocean for all eternity."

"Jeez, overdramatic much?"

"29 – 28 – 27..."

"Ok ok. I mean you're stupid _if_ you think I'd go elsewhere to satisfy my 'needs'. You're everything to me Tash. It's not about the sex, which is great by the way, I really enjoyed those new moves have you been talking with Ace or something?"

"Zoro..."

"My point is I have long learned to control the sexual urges which is why I can last a month without sex but what I crave is everything else I have with you. It's the conversations I miss. Your smile and the way you can trip on a flat surface. I miss the way you look when you wake up and can only half see the world without your glasses. I miss the way you curl into me, the way you smell and the sound of your laughter. The sex I could live without but _you_ I need and I won't find that in any bar or whorehouse."

"..."

"Unless you secretly work in a whorehouse."

"What!?"

"It's ok I wouldn't judge you."

"You go and say the sweetest thing I have ever heard and then _that!_"

"I'm sorry?"

"I love you Zoro."

"I know."

"Gah! We've talked about this before..."

"I'm sorry I meant... same."

"Can you hear me rolling my eyes? Because I am."

"Why would I hear you roll eyes it makes no sound."

"Please tell me you channelled Luffy there."

"Err..."

"Roronoa Zoro you amaze me with the sheer stupidity of things that pass or don't pass through your brain sometimes."

"Hey!"

"I mean that in a good way of course."

"Sure you do..."

"ok maybe not exactly..."

"I could do this forever."

"Do what?"

"Bicker with you."

"I thought you hated bickering, you're always complaining about Nami."

"I don't like bickering with her but then I don't love Nami."

"You better not."

"Marry me."

"... w-what?"

"Not now but when I am the world's greatest swordsman and Luffy the Pirate King."

"I-I ... I can't just marry a pirate..."

"You wouldn't be marrying a pirate you would be marrying the world's greatest swordsman surely the stupid poofters known as the Marines could respect that."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I mean they might think you're just a groupie but I'd know better."

"Not about that about the whole marriage thing. Are you seriously proposing to me?"

"Fuck... I didn't do it right did I? There should have been champagne and a ring and not on the phone and all that crap..."

"You're serious?"

"About the proposal? Yeah..."

".God."

"You do know God doesn't exist though right..."

"It's an expression Zoro."

"I know but it won't be some big religious ceremony."

"I haven't even said yes yet."

"So you're saying no? Oh... ok that's fine I mean I am a pirate and you're a marine and nothing really changed that..."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No Zoro. _Yes_."

"Yes? Wait yes!?"

"Yes. I do. I will."

"Are you sure I mean I'm not going to become all "proper" and stuff..."

"I know and I wouldn't want you to. When you're the world's greatest swordsman and your idiotic captain is the new Pirate King, God help us all-

"-God doesn't exist."

"- I will marry you in a small non-religious ceremony."

"I won't wear a tux."

"What about a suit?"

"No."

"Zoro!"

"Fine...maybe. But only if I can keep my katana with me."

"You want to wear weapons to our wedding?"

"Yes."

"Good because I'm wearing mine."

"And there should be lots of sake."

"Of course what kind of wedding or party for that matter is dry?"

"We'll need lots of food or Luffy will be the only guest eating."

"Sanji can cater."

"That perverted dartbrow?"

"Zoro..."

"Fine, but you'll be asking him and not me and if you so much as mention I want him to do it or even hint that I want him to make that strawberry shortcake thing he made last week I will deny it and the whole thing will be off."

"Fine. I want his cooking."

"No then he'll think you're into him."

"So what am I supposed to do."

"Simply say it's convenient."

"Fine Sanji will cater for convenience."

"That's if the idiot hasn't smoked himself to death by then."

"Zoro!"

"Not that I want him to... jeez woman."

"Good. And maybe I can have... no never mind."

"What?"

"It's nothing."

"Spill it woman or I'll cut it out of you."

"Over the den den mushi?"

"Try me..."

"Oh fine. I was just thinking that maybe Nami-could-be-my-maid-of honour."

"That thieving manipulative she-devil? She'll probably charge you for the so-called honour"

"I guess... it's just I don't have any female friends..."

"Oh. I mean I'm sure she won't mind I mean after all it's your wedding and all... she can't be that evil. I could always threaten her..."

"I'm not having someone be my maid of honour because they are afraid you'll cut them up!"

"Fine I was only trying to help."

"I know..."

"Anything else you want? Any special requests?"

"Can I have..."

"Have what? If you say Chopper as the ring bearer I might barf from the cutseyness of it all."

"Mihawk's ring."

"What?"

"To become the world's greatest swordsman you'll have to defeat Mihawk."

"Yes..."

"Once you defeat him you could ask him for his ring... that can be our wedding ring."

"You want me to steal the guy's ring for you. We are consecrating our marriage with stolen jewellery."

"Not steal. Ask for it."

"What if I kill him. Then you'll be wearing some dead guy's ring."

"Zoro! Don't put it that way."

"Calm down babe, I'll get you the ring. It would look better on you anyways. It might not even need to be re-sized the guy has freakishly thin fingers."

"Okay."

"But this isn't until all these things have been accomplished I mean don't go out buying a dress already."

"I know."

"We're only kind of engaged."

"Engaged to be engaged, got it. Don't worry Zoro I'm not going to crash your ship in a wedding dress or anything."

"I didn't't say you would..."

"I probably won't even wear one."

"You're going to crash my ship naked?"

"What!? NO!?"

"I wouldn't mind that. You can feel free to do that anytime, just avoid the ero-cook."

"I'm not going anywhere naked."

"Nowhere."

"Exactly."

"You don't even shower naked?"

"Immature much?"

"I seem to remember you being naked a lot the other night."

"Zoro!"

"Hey I'm all for the clothes kink in sex sometimes but I do like you naked."

"oh... my... god..."

"You've got a great body. All lithe and supple and so flexible. Damn you're flexible, I didn't know a body could move like that not that I'm complaining."

"..."

"And that thing you did with your back."

"Wow, you're actually saying all this."

"Hey Tash?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you so bad right now."

"mmm"

"Oh man that was sexy. I need you. I wish you were here."

"Zoro..."

"I'm hard for you, just for you. Oh god I want to touch you. Touch yourself for me, pretend it's my hand running down your sides, stoking your thighs. Can you do that for me Tash?"

"mmm Zoro... keep talking."

"mmm touch your stomach, scrape your nails across it, feel the delicious agony of it. Now move to your breasts. I love your breasts, they fill my hands so perfectly. Your breasts were made for me babe. Now roll your nipple between your fingers, on your right breast babe. Oh god you sound so sexy, harder."

"Oh god Zoro, oh, mmm"

"Oh fuck! Okay move back down to stroke your inner thigh. Mmm that's it but don't touch yourself yet. Brush your fingers over yourself but no penetration yet. Oh fuck Tash I wish you were here."

"Zoro... please..."

"I love it when you pant my name. You've been such a good girl. Good girls deserve presents, go get your toy."

"My toy?"

"Don't pretend with me babe, I know you have it. Second drawer from the top. In the back on the left side under your extra scabbard and with all of my wanted posters."

"How'd you..."

"Get it. I want you to pretend it's me pushing into you. That it's me filling you to the brim, pushing until you cry out. Let me hear you cry out."

"Oh God! Fuck! Zoro!"

"You sound so hot, fuck so close fuck..."

"ZORO!"

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"..."

".."

"wow... that was... wow."

"yeah..."

"I love you."

"You too... I ... love you too."

"I need to go but I'll call you tomorrow."

"Talk to you tomorrow love."

"Goodnight."

"Night."


	16. Secrets

_pairing: ZoTash  
rating: T  
theme: Are you serious?_

**Secrets**

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"Tashigi? Why are you calling? I mean, hi."

"Is something wrong?"

"No."

"Is this a bad time."

"No... I mean of course not. What's up?"

"Not much, I just had some free time and I haven't heard from you in awhile so..."

"Mhm"

"..."

"..."

'Zoro?'

"Who was that?"

"Who was who?"

"The woman calling your name"

'Are you ready?'

"It's nobody. Look I got to go Tash I'll call you later."

"Wait..."

"..."

"Bye..."

-/\-

"Hello?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I'm sorry..."

"When I get mad and need some time later is five minutes but when you say you'll call me later a week goes by and nothing."

"I was planning on calling you."

"When? When would you have seriously called if I hadn't called first?"

"Tomorrow."

"Lies."

"What!? Why would I lie to you about this?"

"You're already lying about so many other things what's one more."

"I'm not lying about things. What am I supposedly lying about Tash?"

"You pretend that you love me..."

"I do!"

"Then there is that other woman that you were clearly getting ready to go out with and clearly she is not nobody but you said she was and lied and then left to go be with her."

"..."

"If you don't want to be with me just say so. Don't jerk me around Roronoa!"

"You think I am cheating on you!? Are you out of your mind? Why would I cheat on you. You are amazing and beautiful and talented when you're not being a pig-headed idiot."

"Whatever Roronoa. I'm sorry to have wasted your time I'll let you get back to your mistress now."

"Oi! I do NOT have a mistress. Why is it so freaking difficult for you to believe that I am telling the truth. You are such a blind idiot sometimes. I have you, what else do I need."

"Then why haven't you called me?"

"I've been busy."

"Busy?"

"Yes busy. Honestly Tash I am a pirate. I'm not exactly on a cruise here with a bunch of free time to waste chatting idly with my lover. I have duties, responsibilities that need to be taken care of."

"Wasting your time?"

"No..."

"Well if I'm just wasting your precious duty-filled time why don't you just fuck off Roronoa. Fuck off and leave me the hell alone. I should have know better than to trust a pirate scum."

"Fine!"

"Fine? Really that's all you have to say?"

"What more can I say? You've decided not to believe me anyways so what's the point."

"You could at least try."

"God damn it Tash! Make up your damn mind. I try and you don't believe me so I give in and agree to leave you alone like you want and you get mad at me. How can I win when no matter what I do it's wrong."

"Is winning all that's important to you?"

"Winning _you_ is all that's important to me. You're the most important thing to me, but if you can't have trust in me, have faith that I mean what I say then what we have is not true."

"..."

"Do you trust me Tash?"

"I want to..."

"I know that but the point is do you."

"..."

"Fine, I'll leave you alone then. I won't call anymore."

"It won't be hard to call less than nothing."

"Fuck Tash! I told you I was busy. It's not that I didn't want to talk to you but I couldn't. Chopper wouldn't even let me out of the god-damned bed."

"What? What happened Zoro?"

"Nothing."

"Roronoa Zoro if you do not tell me what happened right this instant I will find a way to get in touch with Nami and she _will_ tell me and you _will_ be sorry."

"Are you serious?"

"I assure you I am extremely serious."

"It's nothing really. More embarrassing than anything."

"Zoro..."

"Alright alright, it all started when Luffy accidentally fell overboard."

"Again?"

"Yeah. So I jumped in after him but of course not before Brooke and Chopper both jumped in to save him."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. So I ended up saving all three of them..."

"Where were the others? Why couldn't Franky or Sanji help?"

"Will you please stop interrupting my story."

"Sorry"

"Sanji was in the kitchen and didn't hear the commotion and Franky was below deck with a certain archaeologist."

"Robin and Franky really!?"

"Tash!"

"Sorry. Continue."

"Anyways so I saved them all but we were in some strange weather loop on the grand line and the weather changed drastically and suddenly. It went from being nice out to freezing in under a minute. I was still in my wet clothes and the sudden change meant a bunch of work to be done quickly to guarantee we stayed on course and all that navigation stuff. Anyways we got through the loop but by the time we got out I was frozen. Then the weather was back to being normal."

"You got a cold?"

"Tashigi do you want to hear this story or not?"

"Fine, fine please continue your story about how a cold kept the great Roronoa Zoro in bed unable to call me."

"Tashigi!"

"Sorry continue. What ever happened next."

"I got a fever and was in and out of consciousness for the next couple of days. Chopper said that it was the rapid changes that did it since my immune system was still weak from the bullet wounds."

"Bullet wounds!?"

"Oh yeah... I forgot to mention those..."

"Roronoa Zoro how do you forget to mention getting SHOT!?"

"That's not the point. The point is I was under strict bed rest. The furry annoyance even placed a damn guard at my door."

"Are you better now?"

"Yes. I'm great. The whole thing was more embarrassing than necessary."

"How long after you were shot were you jumping in rescuing people and training?"

"Is it important?"

"How long?"

"I was shot the day you called before and the drowning incident was the next day."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Roronoa Zoro you are out of your mind! You can't just go around doing things like that? Do you care at all whether you live or die?"

"Well if you plan on leaving me I don't see how it matters anyways."

"I never said I was leaving you."

"So do you trust me?"

"..."

"Well?"

"I probably shouldn't. God knows you are out of your mind but yes. I do trust you."

"So do you believe me when I say I am not cheating on you?"

"... I suppose."

"I love you Tash. Only you. Always you."

"Then what was the whole deal last conversation. With the other woman."

"err..."

"Zoro, I trust you but you need to tell me these things."

"It was Robin."

"Robin? I thought she was with Franky now."

"She is. Why do you always assume that it is something bad? I wasn't going out with her or sleeping with her."

"So what were you doing?"

"Dancing."

"What?"

"Dancing."

"Are you kidding me? You hung up on me to _dance_ with another woman."

"Ok maybe I used the term dance a bit too loosely."

"Roronoa you are not helping your case."

"She was teaching me to dance."

"Teaching you to dance?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"For you."

"Me?"

"Yes. She found out that there was a Marie ball coming up and it isn't far from where we should be then according to Nami and they have both been working to make it so I can go. Nami has gotten me an outfit and Robin has been teaching me to dance."

"Really?"

"Really. It's not cheap either. Nami is charging me a fortune for the outfit and even more for chartering me to the island."

"..."

"Tash?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you crying?"

"No!"

"You are!"

"Shut up!"

"Why are you crying babe?"

"I'm not crying. I'm happy. I can't believe you would go through all that for me."

"Well I did."

"Zoro?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, there's a small problem..."

"What is it? You will be there right?"

"Yeah."

"Then what's the problem. I'll be under disguise don't worry. We don't have to stay there if you don't want."

"It's just that I..."

"..."

"I don't know how to dance."


	17. Love

_Pairing: ZoLu  
rating: T  
theme: What is love?_

**Love**

"Zoro! Wake up! Zoro!Zoro!Zoro!"

"Oi. What do you want?"

"I have a question."

"You couldn't have waited?"

"No it's important."

"Fine. What is it?"

"What is love?"

"..."

"Zoro? What is it?"

"Don't ask me. Go ask someone else."

"But..."

"I don't know about this stuff."

"Fine..."

-/\-

"What is love?"

"Aah! Don't just go sneaking up on people like that Luffy!"

"What is love?"

"You have come to the right person. I, the great Usopp-sama am an expert on the subject of love."

"..."

"..."

"So what is it?"

"Love is... er... love is when you care deeply about somebody else and want them to be safe always."

"Thanks Usopp!"

-/\-

"Sanji!"

"We don't have any more meat so don't even bother."

"What!? No meat!? I'm going to dieeeeeee"

"Maybe if you hadn't eaten so much last night we would still have some."

"Sanjiii.... wait. I almost forgot. What is love?"

"Love? Why you better not think you're in love with one of my precious angels of life. I will serve you for dinner."

"That's not it Sanji. I just want to know."

"Oh ok. But don't get any funny ideas now. Love is something powerful and incredible that makes everything that person does seem perfect."

"Sanji you're drooling."

"Get Out!"

"OW!"

"Are you okay Luffy? Do you need a doctor?"

"You're a doctor."

"Yes"

"Doctor's know things. They are smart."

"Shut up! Saying that doesn't make me happy you bastard!"

"Chopper, what's love?"

"Love?"

"Yeah."

"Love is an emotion."

"But what is it exactly. How can you tell it is love?"

"I don't know. I've read that it makes you feel all warm and happy."

"Warm and happy..."

"Are you sure you're okay Luffy?"

"I'm fine thanks Chopper."

-/\-

"Do you guys know what love is?"

"Er yeah..."

"Why do you ask captain-san?"

"I want to know what love is."

"Love is super! Love makes every day super! Love makes you feel super all the time."

"That's pretty generic Franky. Hey is that why you've been so happy lately?"

"I must go fix the ... the thing."

"Robin! He loves you!"

"I know navigator-san."

"Guys!"

"Sorry captain-san. Love is knowing that no matter what in that moment you don't want to be with anybody else. Love makes up for all the flaws and difficulties and simply makes it seem so right. Wouldn't you agree navigator-san?"

"Yes. Love doesn't have a price Luffy. It isn't something you can buy or steal. It's a gift that you can give and only hope to get back."

"A gift?"

"Yes. For that special someone, your love is a gift."

"Oh."

"I hope we helped captain-san."

"Yeah..."

-/\-

"Zoro!"

"I thought I told you to ask someone else."

"I did."

"So what do you want? I'm trying to sleep here."

"I still want to know what you think."

"Luffy..."

"Please."

"Argh... fine. To me love is... well that's to say I think it means... wholeness. It is finding that one person that complements you perfectly and you them. It makes everything else fade in comparison, nothing else seems as important. You'd rather make their goals come true before your own, and your own mean nothing if you don't have them to share it with. They make you stronger and weaker at the same time. Everything yet nothing makes sense and you wouldn't want it any other way."

"..."

"I told you I'm no good at this stuff."

"You are. Zoro..."

"Yeah?"

"You will become the greatest swordsman, I'll make sure of it."

"Thanks Luf."

"Can I lie with you?"

"Of course."

"Zzzz..."

"I love you too Luffy."


	18. What If

Pairing: ZoTash  
Rating: T  
Theme: What If?

**What If**

"This isn't going to work is it?"

"What if we meet up every once and a while."

"We can't guarantee that we can do that."

"I know."

"You're a marine. I'm a pirate. Both of us are going to be all over the Grand Line we can't guarantee running into each other."

"It could be years before we get a chance."

"We could always die before that too."

"Well that's a nice cheery thought."

"It's part of our reality."

"What if I wasn't a marine?"

"I'd still be a pirate. Plus you are a marine."

"What if I wasn't though and what if you weren't a pirate. What if we were just two people who randomly met in town."

"You'd probably have tripped and fallen and lost your glasses."

"Zoro! I'm serious."

"If we were just two regular people we wouldn't be us."

"I know that. Jeez Zoro I'm asking you to imagine something here. What if in another reality there is a Tashigi who is not a marine and a Zoro who isn't a pirate hunter turned pirate."

"In that reality we would probably have a whole bunch of other problems because that's what makes this special."

"You think we'd manage to be together still?"

"I think we will always find a way. No matter what reality. Even in some crazy backwards reality where you are a graceful pirate and I'm a directional-savvy marine."

"Hey! Besides I doubt in any reality you are directional-savvy."

"..."

"Zoro! Come back."

"..."

"That way's a dead end anyways."

"Fine."

"I'm sorry. I suppose in some severely twisted and messed up backwards world there is a Zoro out there who doesn't get lost quite so easily."

"Is directional-savvy."

"Directional competent."

"Savvy."

"..."

"Fine. You're klutzy."

"That's your comeback?"

"..."

"Wow... no wonder they called you a demon. You're evil."

".."

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe it's a good thing I don't have to see you."

"Hey!"

"Alright. I'm sorry too."

"Thank you."

"We still haven't figured anything out."

"We have."

"We have?"

"We've figured out that we will figure something out."

"Huh?"

"It'll work out."

"Why didn't you just say that then."

"I did."

"No you said some weird thing."

"It meant the same thing."

"But in a weird marine stuck-up way."

"This isn't solving anything."

"What if I don't want to solve anything?"

"What if I don't believe that?"

"What if I don't care if you do?"

"What if I arrest you right now?"

"What if we use those handcuffs for something else?"

"..."

"Oh Tash, you blush too easy."

"No I don't"

"Whatever."

"What if we write to each other?"

"Letters are too dangerous. They can be found, traced back to us."

"How else can we stay in touch though?"

"What if we use a Den Den?"

"The marines can intercept those."

"..."

"But not if they are special Baby Den Den's that are more like two-way radios."

"You could get those?"

"Sure, marines use them all the time when partners spilt up in the field."

"They would be secure?"

"Yeah. Each pair only has one the twin and they each are programmed to their own unique frequency. It is impossible for another Den Den to hack it."

"Those would be perfect."

"I told you it would work itself out."

"Maybe I'll just have to start believing you more often." "Ouch!"

"Serves you right."


	19. Apocalypse and Doom

Pairing: ZoTash  
Rating: T  
Theme: Ladies and Gentleman hell has officially frozen over

**Apocalypse and Doom**

"Why haven't you been answering the last week?"

"The Den Den was.... er... broken."

"Broken? How did it break? These things are pretty indestructible."

"It might have gotten smashed through a wall or two."

"What!?"

"..."

"How? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything. It is all that damn ero-cook's fault."

"He kicked it through the wall?"

"Not exactly..."

"Well how exactly is it his fault then?"

"It was in my pocket."

"So?"

"Er... I went through a wall or two."

"..."

"..."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"OMG Are you ok?"

"Of course. I only went through a couple of walls. The cook can't kick that hard."

"You went through _TWO_ walls!"

"Yeah."

"That's crazy... normal people... never mind. How did you fix the Den Den? Did Usopp or Franky fix it?"

"No it needed a new part so I got it fixed the next time we made port."

"Isn't that expensive?"

"It was a couple hundred beli for the part and service."

"But you don't have that much money."

"I know."

"Did you borrow money from Nami?"

"Not exactly."

"You stole her money!? She'll find out."

"I didn't steal anything. She's the thief not me."

"Well then how did you get it fixed?"

"Nami paid for it."

"..."

"Tash?"

"She paid for it?"

"Yeah."

"As in spent money on something that wasn't for her without charging you for it."

"Yeah."

"This is the same woman who when leaving Arabasta cried over not leaving her new friend but leaving behind the money?"

"Uh-huh"

"The same woman who stole the wallets of all her townspeople when leaving?"

"The same one."

"The same woman who charged you 300% interest on money you didn't end up spending and gave right back to her?"

"Yes."

"The same..."

"I get the picture here Tash."

"Are you serious? Are you sure there wasn't some hidden catch?"

"Other than her being able to hold the information over me and potentially blackmail me with what she knows about our relationship no."

"Wait she knows?"

"That's why she paid for it."

"To be able to blackmail you?"

"No so I could continue to talk to you."

"Really?"

"Turns out the sea-devil has a heart after all."

"I told you she couldn't be as bad as you thought."

"You were the one who seemed so surprised by her actions."

"Only because of what you'd told me."

"Whatever."

"So she really paid for it out of the kindness of her heart."

"So it would seem."

"That sucks."

"Sucks? How do you figure? It seems pretty good to me."

"Well surely it's a sign of impending apocalypse and doom."

"We'll survive."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know that I will become the strongest swordsman and I will come and find you and marry you no matter what so apocalypse and doom be damned."

"Wow that's kind of sweet."

"Quiet woman."

"I take it back."

"Good."

"You are so weird."

"Yet you love me anyhow."

"I'm hanging up."

"You wouldn't."

"Don't try me Roronoa."

"Empty threats."

"..."

"..."

"------"

"Damn."


	20. Say What?

Pairing: ZoTash  
Rating: T  
Theme: Are you serious?

**Say What?**

"hello?"

"did you get lost answering the phone?"

"no."

"..."

"not exactly."

"so in other words you did."

"I didn't get lost, the phone simply wasn't where I left it."

"the Den Den's might be alive but they don't move."

"did you call for a reason?"

"nope."

"then bye."

"hey!"

"what? You said yourself there was no reason..."

"I said there wasn't a reason for my call not that I didn't want to talk to you. Jeez."

"oh..."

"exactly."

"well then"

"what are you up to?"

"err... nothing."

"you're lying I can tell"

"why would I lie?"

"I don't know, so what were you doing?"

"nothing, it's stupid"

"is it embarrassing?"

"yes..."

"well it is only fair I know. You know and have witnessed many embarrassing accounts on my part."

"that's because you are a klutz."

"not the point I'm trying to make here."

"then what is the point?"

"you should tell me."

"painting."

"like the ship?"

"no."

"then like a picture?"

"yes."

"are you serious?"

"yes."

"really!?"

"no, never mind it was a joke, really I am just working out."

"you are serious!"

"I just said I wasn't"

"what are you painting?"

"nothing."

"don't go through this again, just tell me."

"the ocean and the sunset."

"wow."

"you mock me and I swear upon my blades I will slice you."

"relax tough guy."

"Tashigi."

"no seriously, relax, so you're painting the sunset. No big deal. Is it any good?"

"not really."

"I didn't know you liked to paint."

"I don't."

"what?"

"I don't like to paint."

"are you serious?"

"yes."

"then why are you painting?"

"Nami made me do it."

"She made you paint?"

"yes, and yes I am serious."

"why?"

"she thinks it will help to calm me or help me get in touch with my more sensitive side or some crap like that."

"well I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with her, you of all people shouldn't piss off a navigator."

"stuff it."

"I'll leave you to it then Mr Sensitivity."

"Oi!"

"----"

"Blasted women..."


	21. Ring Ring

Pairing: ZoTash  
Rating: T

**Ring Ring**

"Ring Ring."

"Did you just answer with 'ring ring'?"

"No..."

"Yes you did."

"I guessss... maybe... hehe"

"You're drunk!"

"NO!"

"You are so drunk."

"I mossst certainly *hiccup* am not."

"Sure... trust me Tash, I know drunk."

"Whoooooze drunk?"

"Seriously!?"

"Sssrisly is drunk?"

"Girl, you are one dumb drunk."

"Hey!"

"So are you drinking alone."

"I'm drinkin wit yooouuu."

"I'm there?"

"You are?"

"I don't know do you see me?"

*klank*

"_Zooorrrooo? Zorrrrroooooooooo where are youuuuuuu?"_

"Tash! ... TASH!"

"You're on the phone!"

"..."

"You're not here."

"No, I am on my ship."

"Whyyyy?"

"Because I am part of the crew."

"The Ssstraaawhatsssss"

"Yeah."

"But you don't wear one."

"Of course not."

"Liffy does though."

"Luffy."

"Exactly."

"You said... oh never mind."

"Zoro"

"Yeah Tash?"

"I loves you."

"I love you too Tash."

"I..."

"..."

"..."

"Tash?"

*ZZZzzzzzz*

"Goodnight Tash."


	22. Conversation

Characters: Zoro and Nami  
Rating: T

**Conversation**

"How come we never talk?"

"Because you're evil incarnate?"

"Jeez Zoro. Seriously why don't we ever talk"

"What would we talk about?"

"I don't know... stuff."

"Stuff? Really?"

"Well you could think of something."

"Alright. Nami?"

"Yes."

"How's the weather?"

"We're stuck inside because of a torrential downpour. You're really asking me about the weather."

"I thought you liked the weather."

"I do, but come on. Make more effort than that."

"So you don't want me to talk about things you like?"

"That's not what I mean."

"Ok let's try something else then... so I've remodelled my training regime so instead of exercising so much I'll just go for longer to build stamina..."

"This is boring. No, no just stop, stop!"

"So I can't talk about what interests you and I can't talk about what interests me."

"That's not what I said."

"I think you just found out why we don't talk."

"Ugh, forget it, never mind. I'll go talk to somebody else."

"Exactly"


	23. Black & White

Pairing: Zoro x Tashigi  
Rating: T  
AN: Slightly philosophical...

**Black & White**

"Are pirates and marines really all that different?"

"Sure, where's this coming from?"

"I don't know..."

"Look at us Tash, you're a marine and I am an amazing pirate."

"Well I wouldn't say amazing but that's my point. I used to think it was all very black and white. A clear cut case of good versus evil. Now I'm not so sure, pirates like you change everything."

"Pirates like me?"

"Not just you, your whole crew. I've always thought of pirates as horrible criminals pillaging and destroying towns. Fighting all the time..."

"We fight a lot."

"Not the point Roronoa. You guys seem to more often than not be fighting other pirates and in general people who are corrupt."

"See we're doing you marines a favour."

"The marines do not need favours from pirates."

'Except for with Crocodile for example."

"..."

"Shit. Sorry Tash, didn't mean to bring that up."

"..."

"So black and white... you don't see it that way anymore?"

"You and your crew seem to have introduced a whole new spectrum of gray to the issue."

"This is bad?"

"No, it just complicates things. Then again, if there were not gray area we wouldn't have this."

"Confusing conversations concerning colours?"

"No baka. Us. You and me together."

"Right."

"So if nothing is clear cut are we that different in the end?"

"Yes and no. I've encountered a lot of people in my life Tash. Pirates, marines, regular townsfolk. They're all just labels and a label can't make you good or bad. In the end it's all down to the individual."

"If the name of marines is only a label then what justifies are killing? Why is our murder the law instead of a crime?"

"That's just the way it is."

"In society sure, but in the grand scheme of things I'm still a murderer and I might survive this life but what about after..."

"Are you worried about hell?"

"No. Well I don't know, maybe."

"Tash you're a good person. You protect the people. I seriously doubt that if a god existed he'd hold a few casualties against you."

"What about you?"

"I don't believe in a god."

"But what if he does exist?"

"Then I guess it won't matter how many men I've killed. He'd send me to hell out of spite and pride."

"How can you say that so calmly? Damning yourself so easily."

"It doesn't matter where I end up. I'll deal with it."

"Well if I'm not going to hell neither are you."

"I'm not as noble as you Tashigi."

"It's not that, it's just my heaven wouldn't exist without you."

"Maybe you'll be my redemption after all."


	24. To Stitch or Not to Stitch

Pairing: Zoro x Tashigi  
Rating: T

**To Stitch or Not to Stitch**

"Ow ow ow"

"Um Tashigi are you ok?"

"Damnit. Yes, I'm fine."

"You sure don't sound it."

"It's nothing I just knocked into something."

"What did you knock into?"

"A mirror."

"A mirror?"

"Yes."

"Um are you hurt. I hope you didn't break it."

"Why so I don't get seven years of bad luck?"

"No, I figure your luck is bad enough already it might actually give you good luck."

"So funny. My luck isn't that bad."

"Well did you break it?"

"..."

"You did, didn't you?"

"..."

"You're bleeding I bet. You knocked into your mirror, broke it and cut yourself, didn't you?"

"It's nothing really just a scratch."

"My kind of scratch or a real scratch?"

"Yours..."

"Tash!"

"What?"

"Don't snap at me. You need to go get stitches."

"How come it is just a scratch when it's on you but for me I need stitches."

"Because I heal faster."

"That's stupid."

"Anyways Chopper makes me let him stitch them up so you need to get yours stitched."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"It's not a big deal."

"And?"

"And what? It's nothing big, that's it."

"I meant and what is the other reason that you are not telling me."

"There is no other reason."

"Tashigi at least let your ship doctor look at it."

"No."

Tashigi!"

"It's embarrassing."

"You are going to bleed all over your room because of some embarrassment?"

"I'm not bleeding that much."

"You get hurt all the time, your doctor should be used to it."

"That's not helping!"

"At least you didn't take out any other marines in this one."

"Shut up Roronoa. I swear I will cut you."

"I won't shut up until you promise to go to the doctor."

"Well I'm not going to."

"Fine I'll just call Smoker up and tell him."

"How do you plan on calling Smoker?"

"I'll find a way."

"Unless Ace is there I doubt you'll get in contact with him."

"Ace! Of course I should of thought of that. I'll go ask him now."

"What!? Ace is there?"

"..."

"No wait. Zoro don't do that."

"Why are you going to go on your own?"

"Y-yes."

"You're lying. You're going to hang up and pretend you did."

"What?"

"Seriously Tash, what is so embarrassing about going to the doctor? If you're so embarrassed make up a story. Say you were doing training and the ship rocked sending you into the mirror."

"It's not the mirror part that's so bad."

"Then what?"

"You're going to laugh."

"I won't laugh Tashigi. Just tell me."

"IjustgotbackfromhisofficebecauseItrippedandhitmyheadinthegalley."

"..."

"Zoro?"

"Sorry."

"You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"I'm sorry Tashigi. But this could only happen to you."

"I hate you Roronoa Zoro."

"I'm sorry. How's your head?"

"Fine."

"Please go to the doctor."

But..."

"Just tell him you are dizzy from hitting your head and you fell."

"Why?"

"Because that way you can at least blame this injury on the one he already knows about."

"I guess..."

"Please just go, Tash."

"Hmpf, fine."

"Call me after okay?"

"Fine. I still hate you though."

"No you don't, now go."

=slam=


	25. Legs

Pairing: implied LuNa  
Rating: T

**Legs**

"Ne, why do you wear short skirts Nami?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why are your skirts so short?"

"You can't just ask something like that baka."

"Nani, why not?"

"It's not polite. I don't go around asking you why you wear a vest or why Zoro wears a haramaki."

"I like vests, it's easier to move my arms in it and Zoro is a swordsman, ne"

"That's not the point. The point is you can't go around asking those things."

"But you just asked about my vest."

"I wasn't asking baka. You just answered anyways."

"I answered so why don't you answer."

"No baka. Now leave me alone."

"Fine, you're no fun."

-/\-

"Ne, Robin?"

"Yes Captain-san?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Why does Nami wear short skirts."

"hehe why don't you ask Navigator-san that."

"She told me to leave her alone."

"Well I suppose Navigator-san wears them to show off her legs."

"Why does she want to do that?"

"Perhaps so you'll notice them Captain-san."

"Thank you Robin!"

"My pleasure Captain-san."

-/\-

"Nami!"

"What do you want now Luffy?"

"You don't have to wear short skirts, I notice your legs anyways."


	26. Change

_Pairing: Zoro x Nami  
Rating: T for mentions of sex and some minor swearing_

**Change**

"Absolutely **not**."

"It wasn't really a suggestion, we _are_ going to do this."

"Hell no, you crazy woman."

"You know I'm going to no matter what, and don't you think it will be easier if you come?"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh yeah? You really want to test that?"

"Sea-witch..."

"Insults will not help your case or your debt."

"Money! You of all people shouldn't be doing this."

"And why is that?"

"It's a waste of money, I'm fine as it is, this would just be pointless ."

"What is the point of having some money if you can't spend it on things?"

"So go buy yourself some damn jewellery and leave me alone."

"Fashion is important and I won't have you sneering at it."

"I don't give a damn about fashion. This fits and is comfortable."

"You need more clothes."

"I have plenty of clothes. My drawers are full aren't they?"

"Maybe I wasn't making myself clear you lug-head. You need _different _clothes."

"What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Nothing really, I mean they are kind of boring and dull but that's ok. The point is variety. You have like thirty white t-shirts and that one blue one."

"White is simple, it goes with anything."

"Fine, if you do not come I am tripling your debt..."

"Oi!"

"And..."

"And? Isn't that cruel enough?"

"Stop interrupting me. I will triple your debt _and_ there will be no sex for a month."

"Fine."

"What? What do you mean fine?"

"I mean fine. Unlike certain crazy demon ladies **I** don't need sex to survive."

"Hey!"

"I mean come on, do you really think you could resist me for a whole month?"

"Grr... I **hate** you. I'll increase your debt so much that your great-great-great-great-grandchildren will still be owing me."

"I guess I'll just have to make sure any kids of mine are also yours."

"Argh! You need more shirts Zoro!"

"Jeez woman, stop yelling."

"..."

"Don't look at me like that."

"..."

"Alright, fine."

"Yay!"

"But only a couple and I don't want no crap written on them."

"We'll see..."


	27. Betrayal

Pairing: Zoro x Tash and slight Zoro x Robin  
Rating: T

**Betrayal**

"Tash?"

"Speaking."

"Uh... it's Zoro."

"I figured as much."

"Can we talk?"

"I wouldn't have answered if not Roronoa."

"Right."

"..."

"..."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"I'm surprised you didn't destroy the Den Den."

"That's what you want to talk about?"

"No"

"Then what? I may have answered but I can just as easily hang up."

"It's about Robin..."

"You called to talk to me about the whore you cheated on me with?"

"She's not a whore."

"Whatever."

"I'm sorry Tash. How many times do I have to tell you. I am sorry, I never should have done it, it never should have happened."

"Did you call just to apologize again?"

"Argh, why can't you just accept my apology. It was a mistake, I had too much to drink and I was missing you..."

"Don't you dare. Don't even try to blame this on me. I gave you an out time after time and you told me, you promised that the distance and time didn't matter. You fucking swore I was the only one. Anyways swordsmen don't get drunk."

"Fine, I get it. You hate me and I was a jerk but that's not why I'm calling."

"What do you want Zoro? I'm tired and I just can't deal with this."

"It's Robin."

"Oh god, please don't say it."

"She's pregnant."

"..."

"Tash?"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't call me Tash. You lost that right when you fucked that bitch. Why are you telling me this? Are you enjoying the pain it causes?"

"NO! I would never enjoy causing you pain. There isn't a second that passes that I don't wish I had done things differently, that I hadn't hurt you."

"Look Zoro, I understand you're trying to do the right thing and all that shit but I don't want to hear about this. Please don't call me anymore."

"Wait..."

"No. I am done waiting for you. You think I hate you but I don't. I still love you despite the fact that you proved you were no better than the average pirate scum. Either way I just can't do this anymore. Goodbye."

"Tash..igi?"

"---"

_**Two months later**_

"Tashigi?"

"I thought I said not to call me anymore."

"Then why do you still have the Den Den, why did you answer?"

"It was a mistake."

"Don't hang up!"

"And why shouldn't I?"

"You love me."

"Fuck you Roronoa."

"I'm sorry. I love you Tashigi and I need you to at least hear me out."

"Oh you need me to huh? Why the fuck should I care what you need?"

"I know I have no right to ask for this or anything from you but I am anyway because I am selfish."

"You have one minute scum."

"Robin wasn't pregnant. It was a false alarm. I know that doesn't change much but I though you should know. I love you Tashigi and a day doesn't go by that I don't come up with a hundred reasons why I don't deserve you but at the end of the day I still love you. I was a jerk, I know it and I am sorry. I would love to be able to take it back and I would love to be able to promise you that absolutely nothing would ever happen again with anyone who wasn't you but I know I can't guarantee that. All I can guarantee is that I love you, I have always loved you and I will always love you. I made a huge, colossal mistake, I hurt a lot of people but most importantly I hurt you. I let you down and that was something I had promised myself I would never do."

"..."

"..."

"Are you done?"

"I guess I am."

Ok. Don't call me again. I'm not saying that this is a definite fuck off or anything but if I want to I will call you."

"Alright."

"I need some time to think about all this. You're still a complete jerk though."

"I know. I am truly sorry Tash...igi. I'll respect your wishes. I miss you though."

"Goodbye."

"Bye."

_**1 month later**_

"Hello?"

"..."

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

"I can't believe I trusted him..."

"Sergeant Tashigi?"

"Sorry to bother you, please get back to screwing my ex."

"Screwing? What is screwing sergeant?"

"Are you kidding me? Who is this?"

"My name is Tony Tony Chopper, I am the doctor aboard the Thousand Sunny."

"Chopper?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh shit. I'm sorry, is he there?"

"Who? Zoro?"

"Yes."

"Of course, he hasn't gone anywhere without this Den Den in a month at least if not more."

"Why are you answering then?"

"I had to give him some sedatives so that I could insert an IV."

"An IV? Why does he need an IV? Is he okay?"

"He should be fine, he just hasn't been eating for the last several weeks. It wouldn't be so bad but he's also been training for long periods of time. Is body just needs to recuperate."

"He hasn't been eating? Would you say it has been about a month since this has been going on?"

"Since he has stopped eating? Probably. Before that he would eat some but that was about it."

"Stupid jackass pirate scum."

"I-I'm s-sorry"

"Oh not you. Is he sill unconscious?"

"He's just waking up now."

"Can I talk to him?"

"I guess, but not for long and as long as he promises to keep the IV in."

"Thank you Chopper, I appreciate it."

"Shut up! That doesn't make me happy at all."

"errr..."

"Hello? Tashigi?"

"Zoro?"

"Yeah, I think."

"You think?"

"The fur ball has me on all these meds and stuff, I'm a bit groggy."

"Well you should have been eating you idiot. You can't just starve yourself. Why the hell were you training if you weren't giving your body any energy? Are you planning on dying? What about all your dreams? What about Kuina? How can you become the best if you starve yourself to death?"

"Oh god I've missed you."

"I'm serious Zoro. What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking about you. I was thinking about how after all I did I didn't deserve to be the best. If alcohol and lust can make me a different person than I am not a true swordsman."

"Zoro you are more of a swordsman than anyone I know, you just need to forgive yourself."

"You want me to forgive myself?"

"Of course, I don't mean to say that what you did was ok in any way but it's done. You need to stop killing yourself over it. How do you think that would make me feel?"

"You're a better person than me, you really are."

"Get some rest Zoro. I want you to start eating again and then call me in a week or so ok?"

"Ok."

"Bye."

"Bye."

_**1 week later**_

"Hello?"

"Tashigi? It's Zoro."

"I can still recognize your voice you fool."

"Oh right."

"How are you doing?"

"Good."

"And if I ask Chopper?"

"Alright, I am eating but Chopper thinks I am training too much, too soon but he always thinks that."

"Fine, I'll give you that."

"How are you Tash?"

"..."

"Sorry I mean Tashigi."

"It's ok, you can call me Tash."

"But..."

"Do you really want to argue it?"

"No ma'am."

"Oh god, don't ma'am me. It makes me seem old."

"Not old, just mature."

"Still. Look I have to go, duty calls and all that."

"Alright, take care."

"You too."

"Tash?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I call you again?"

"I'd be mad if you didn't."

"Night Tash. I love you."

"God help me but I love you too. Good night."


	28. Do you

_After the last one I needed something light and sort of on crack..._

Characters: Luffy x Nami, Zoro  
Rating: K+

**Do you**

"Do you like me?"

"Of course I do, you're my nakama Nami."

"But do you love me?"

"Yosh. I love all my nakama."

"Do you love me more than as nakama?"

"You mean as a navigator?"

"No, as a woman."

"You're great at being a woman Nami."

"Argh, that's not what I mean baka."

"Nami wants to know if I am in love with her, right?"

"Well... yes."

"Chh... you're the baka now."

"..."

"Of course I am in love with you. I don't let just anybody touch my hat."

"So you love me, but do you trust me?"

"Nyaa, yeah."

"Would you do something for me?"

"Nani?"

"Oi! Luffy."

"Nyaa?"

"Why are you wearing makeup?"

"Nami..."

"Oi she really is a witch..."


	29. Story

Characters: Luffy, Chopper, Usopp  
Rating: K+, perhaps T for Huge lies.

**Story**

"I'm boooorredd."

"We could go fishing?"

"We did that this morning, tell a story Usopp."

"Yeah! I want to hear a story."

"I suppose I could tell you one of my adventures..."

"Yosh!"

"Please Usopp!"

"Well there was the time that a pack of mutant giraffes attacked the village."

"M-mutant g-giraffes?"

"Sugoi!"

"Don't worry. I the great Usopp-sama defeated them so they could not harm the innocent and ignorant villagers."

"That's good."

"There were a hundred, no TWO hundred of them. All as big as houses with supremely sharp teeth that glistened with their foul saliva and the venom it was laced with. One bite from them and you'd be instantaneously paralyzed, unable to move while they slowly tore you apart."

"NANI? I want to see one!"

"They were horrible, vile and dangerous creatures. Nay, monsters! Worse than anything we've encountered before. They make Oz look weak and Moria seem sweet and innocent. If it hadn't been for my tremendous bravery and expertise the whole village would have suffered a horrible and painful demise."

"Really!?"

"Really!?"

"Why of course. I the great and majestic Usopp-sama tell only the truth."

"Wow! How'd you defeat them Usopp?"

"It was a gruelling and fearsome battle but alas they were no match for my greatness. It was all rather simple really. I made a huge batch of Usopp's Top Secret Poisonous Darts and between those and my impeccable aim they stood no chance. One by one the huge beasts fell down, my special poison disintegrating sinew and bone until nothing remained. Once again the innocent villagers, unbeknownst to them were saved from fatal disaster by the selfless, incredibly brave Usopp-sama."

"Usopp you're so cool!"

"I want that poison! Make me that poison Usopp."

"Err... I can't make it anymore."

"Why not? I want it."

"Well.... it is very rare. That's it rare, there are some ingredients that can't be found just anywhere. I got the supplies from a small island near my village and it got destroyed."

"Destroyed?"

"Why was it destroyed Usopp?"

"Well you see it was inhabited by a horde of alien spiders..."


	30. Stray Affections

Pairing: Zoro x Tashigi  
Rating: K+

**Stray Affections**

Hola

Huh?

Hello, it means hello Zoro.

So why didn't you just say hello then?

Because I felt like saying hola

Oh

So did you call for a reason or just to chat?

Just to chat. It's pretty much the only thing Chopper will let me do.

Why? What happened?

It's not a big deal, I got hit by a bullet

You were shot!? That IS a big deal.

I wasn't shot

Err... you just said

I was hit by a bullet. Not shot.

So someone threw artillery at you?

Kicked really...

We were being attacked and Luffy, Sanji and I were dealing with the bullets and such.

Did Sanji kick one at you? Oh god is he ok?

The dumb cook is fine woman. No, one I sliced ricocheted off one Sanji kicked and hit me in the thigh. Apparently it caught on a pretty important vein or something.

What!?

So yeah... I lost a lot of blood and was unconscious for a few days but I'm fine. The furry freak won't listen though.

Zoro!

Sorry, Chopper won't listen.

Chopper is brilliant and saved your life many times, listen to him.

Grumblegrumble

Don't you dare die before I get to make you mine.

Don't worry it will take more than stray artillery to keep me from you.


	31. A Strawhat Dinner

**A Straw-hat Dinner**

"Dinner is ready my lovely angels of the sea!"

"FOOD!!!!"

"Ladies first, baka!"

"Sannjiiiii"

"Oi! Marimo, get up."

"Zzzzz"

"Shitty swordsman.... food's ready!"

"What was that? Did you want to start something, love-cook?"

"I'll teach you some etiquette, you oaf."

"LUFFY! That was mine!"

"BAKA! YOU BETTER NOT BE STEALING FROM THE LADIES!"

"I dwnt shteeel anfthink" (I didn't steal anything)

"Baka!"

"Ow"

"Everything is wonderful, Cook-san!"

"Aaahhhh, you're too kind Robin-chaaann!!!"

"Everything is so good!"

"Are you crying?"

"Aaah! Franky's leaking!"

"I'm not =sniff= crying baka!"

"Everything looks so good! Even though I don't have eyes! Hohohoho SKULL JOKE!"

"Shut up!"

"Can I see you panties?"

"Don't ask a lady that!"

"For 300 beli, maybe."

"Nami-swaan, don't say that."

"This reminds me of the time I had to fight off a colony of panty-snatching trolls. There were FIVE hundred of them and I was backed into a corner."

"Sugoi!!"

"SUGOI!"

"Yes, I, Captain Usopp am quite amazing."

"hehe they are quite adorable, aren't they Navigator-san."

"=sigh= why did I ever join these idiots."


	32. Coping

**Coping  
**(ZoTash; T)

"How can you live with it?"

"With what?"

"All the bloodshed. The lives that were ended by your blades."

"They deserved it, I never kill the innocent and I never kill by choice."

"I know that, I'm not saying you do but even if they were the most awful vermin..."

"It's hard."

"But how do you cope? How do you not lock yourself up, lock yourself away from everything?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You. I cope because I have you. No matter how awful or bloody it is I have your love and it is a purity that washed it all away. I do it because I have to; I do it so you won't."


	33. After the Fight

After the Fight  
(rating: t)

"Quick, bring him to my office."

"Where do you want cook-bro?"

"I don't have room for all three of them in my office."

"Doctor-san, may I suggest using my room for one of them?"

"Alright, Franky take Luffy to Robin's room; he'll sleep most of it off. I've got Sanji and Brook and Usopp can you guys take Zoro to my office."

"Follow me, Cyborg-san. I'll put on fresh sheets for our captain."

"I guess I'll start on dinner since Sanji's still unconscious. It'll cost you though."

"Yohoho! I'm rather hungry... even though I don't have a stomach! Skull Joke! Yohoho."

"Ahh! Brook, don't drop him."

"Yohoho! Sorry Usopp."

"Crap, I'm going to kill that shitty swordsman."

"Sanji! You're awake."

"Sanji! Don't move you'll tear your wounds open further."

"Yohoho this is entertaining."

"Can I at least have a smoke, doc?"

"You need to quite those things, Sanji."

"Ain't gonna happen."

"Fine, I just need to stitch you up then you should be ok."

"Thanks Chopper, you're great."

"Shut up human! That doesn't make me happy at all moron!"

"He sure looks happy."

"Yohoho, he certainly does."

"Where's Luffy, Chopper?"

"In Robin's room, we didn't..."

"That baka is in my precious Robin-chan's room!? Her beauty and purity should not be soiled by his childishness."

"There was no room Sanji, you and Zoro are kind of filling up Chopper's office."

"It could have been me, I was so close to being in my goddess of supreme knowledge and beauty's room. Lying in her sweet bed, surrounded by her eloquent scent."

"Ahh! Sanji's bleeding again. We need a doctor."

"You are a doctor Chopper and I think you should worry about Zoro."

"Oh yeah. Can you get more gauze from our room. I'm going to need more, Zoro's pretty badly cut up."

"Sure thing."

IIIIII

"You sure do inspire these boys to great lengths, captain-san. We really are lucky to have you."


End file.
